Cars On the Brain

I’ll admit, when I first moved into a place next to a busy highway, my thoughts were mixed. Rent was a lot cheaper, so that’s a triple-plus-plus. I saw the cars, I acknowledged that the cars were loud, and I thought…well, I’ll get used to it. And I’m already one-upping those losers who turned this place down because it was too loud outside.

Also, I’m contributing to the problem by owning a car, so it’s not like I can judge. I have my local car servicing garage in Ascot, just like the rest of them; I pull out of my driveway and become a driver on this busy road, like so many. Well, that’s the idea. Sometimes I’m waiting for 8-10 minutes for a lull in the traffic, and the worst thing is that my workplace is in the other direction so I have to do a U-turn immediately, but all of that is besides the point.

At first, it did drive me nuts. Like, WHY are people driving around at 3am? Go to bed, you ingrates. It is not the time for your driving shenanigans, especially since the types of people who drive around at 3am are the same people who do burnouts and play loud music out of the window. But yeah, cars all the time. Cars when I’m trying to lie in, honking horns when I’m lying in bed watching Neat-Flicks, just…automobiles. Forever. All the time.

And now it’s fine! It’s all fine, because you see, the cars are in my head. I hear them always, even in places where there are no cars. They speak to me, I speak to them, people look at me strangely, but it doesn’t matter. I always have my good old car mechanics open in Bendigo, yes I do. Hey, you know, I should visit one of those mechanics and get myself checked out. I’m basically part car now, so what am I doing seeing a boring old doctor? Or a psychologist?

Mechanics are all I need. They’re fix me up.