Pest Control Chopsticks

Catching flies with chopsticks is an age-old technique, and one we know well in our family. In fact, it’s become a rite of passage, for when a famiy member turns five years old. They must catch seven flies in their chopsticks, one for each of the heaven gates, and if they cannot then there is …

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Frosted Glass No Problem

‘What famous piece of literature could be improved with modern technology?’ Interesting. When I signed up for this literature course I just thought we’d be analysing the central themes of Wondering Heights, or something. It counts towards my overall credit, even though it doesn’t have much to do with my major. I just like books, …

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Flower Dude

Most kids, I think, at some point, wanted to be superheroes. Nothing wrong with that. I’m pretty sure I was the only one who fought evil with flowers, though. Not plants, mind you…that’s been done. Not flower power in the hippie sense either, because I was born way too late for all of that. No, …

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Look After Your Vehicle

I don’t think people understand car ownership, sometimes. In fact, in my friend group, it’s become that thing that irks me: something that people are PROUD of not knowing. You know, that despicable internet trend where people are proud of not knowing about current events, or mathematics. I was talking to Millie the other day …

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Moving House or Not

Procrastination is, and always will be, my worst enemy. We’re two days away from a huge move to the western suburbs and I’m sitting here with the pizza boxes piling up (already got rid of all the plates) playing Random Hearts. It’s not really well known outside of Japan, but that’s the RPG about the …

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I’ll Be in My Corner

So my grandma used to tell me that if I didn’t wash out my ears, a spider would make a nest in there and lots of little spider babies would live there forever. Now that I’m older, I have to confess that I don’t really know WHY they’d want to live in there. I mean, …

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My Dream Boat

At last, my dream boat is complete. And yes, I recognize the pun…it really is a dream boat. I intended that pun, because puns should be intended. Intend your puns or get out; none of this wishy-washy ‘no pun intended’ nonsense. Good grief, own your own words, my fellow. So this is definitely the latest …

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Melbourne, City of Sport

The way I see it, the Olympics have to come to Melbourne at some point. We’re the world’s second-most livable city, we have lovely architecture, the coffee is the best in the whole world and we have trams. Everyone loves trams! They’re the number one way to get around, in my humble opinion! Plus, Melburnians …

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That a Dog

I went to the park and I have a dog now. Just found him in some newspaper, just a little puppy. He was all dirty and stuff, and I didn’t like seeing him like that because I get really narky when I get some dirt on my clothes. Also, ketchup. Man, I hate ketchup. Just …

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