I’ll Be in My Corner

So my grandma used to tell me that if I didn’t wash out my ears, a spider would make a nest in there and lots of little spider babies would live there forever. Now that I’m older, I have to confess that I don’t really know WHY they’d want to live in there. I mean, if I didn’t wash my ears then there would be wax buildups, and it just wouldn’t be a nice place to live. But regardless, I was given a mortal fear of insects, especially ones that fly near to your face. Always thought they were going for my ears so they could take up residence.

Now there’s a wasp nest on my balcony, and I’m just casually hanging out, waiting for the fine pest control expert based in Dandenong to come around and sort this one out. I’m just waiting here, in the corner, holding a wooden spoon and not taking my eyes off the balcony. The wooden spoon was because it was the first thing I grabbed when I saw the nest and rushed for the corner. Pretty useful, because my phone turned out to be JUST out of my reach, in a place where I would’ve had to turn away from the balcony to get it, and that would mean turning away from the wasp nest. So I used the spoon to grab the phone, the phone to call the pest controllers, and I suppose the double glazing over the balcony sliding doors is a decent enough barrier against wasps getting inside, although not perfect. Insects can get anywhere they like. This world was built to keep out people, not their kind.

Anyway, I heard from Mrs Dillinger downstairs that the Berwick pest control¬†companies are incredibly efficient (she had that problem last winter…I had to avoid her doorway for months), so I think wasp removal should be much easier, maybe. I’m just going to be here in my corner…guarding my ears. They’ll not be laying anything in there, not while I’m alive and I have a spoon.

-J