Just Install Aircon

Every night I do exactly the same thing, and it’s awesome. I come home from work, feed the cat, feed myself, settle in my armchair (with the cat) and watch shows about people buying and selling homes as a proud escapist fantasy. I don’t even care that I’ll probably never be able to afford one myself, because there are enough cringe shows out there that if I ever start to feel the urge, I can just watch an entire series of ‘Total Renovation Disasters’ and be glad that I don’t have to deal with ANY of that.

And there’s my personal favourite, ‘Home Debating Madness’. It’s just people who can’t decide what to do with their homes sitting in a room with a mediator who’s secretly egging them on. Awesome…

So, there’s a couple in Beaumaris, air conditioning has been the bane of their existence. Judy thinks they need an air con unit in the lounge and the kitchen AND the bedroom, and Jerry doesn’t think they need any because he’s paying for the electricity and he’s from Darwin do he doesn’t really care that it gets hot sometimes in Melbourne. At first it looked like a civil discussion, about air conditioning, but it eventually escalated (as it always does) into a full-blown row about how Jerry’s parents make Judy miserable when they visit, because they have the nerve to come in the summer and complain that the west-facing windows make the guest bedroom hot at night, and Jerry’s parents are always hinting about really good air conditioning for Bayside residents, inserting it into every conversation, and it’s driving Judy nuts, and it Jerry really loves her then he’d get air con installed…

Anyway, they’re probably splitting up and Jerry is getting together with that girl from his company’s HR department. But Judy gets the house, and you better believe that she’s getting air con in every room, especially since she doesn’t have to deal with Jerry’s parents any more.

See, it WAS a happy ending. All good cringe at least tacks that on the end.

-Lucy