You know who’d be a great superhero? Power Man. Not a man who’s powerful, because we have about a million of those. No, Power Man would walk around the streets of Melbourne, covered in power. POWER. Like, portable battery packs and leads for basically every single electronic device under the sun. There would be some …
Well. WELL. Now it all makes sense. All the riddles have been answered, all the Sunday morning newspaper crosswords filled in, all the thousand-piece jigsaws puzzle with inaccurate boxes and/or confusing subject matter like a picture of a pile of identical sprouts…they have been solved anyway. I know it was sneaky, but there was such …
I like to think I’m the token nice teammate around here. Everyone else really wants to destroy the world, or even worse, and I’m just here wanting humanity to thrive and become the dominant species in the galaxy. And if that involves them mutating into hideous, bug creatures, then is that really so bad? If …
Catching flies with chopsticks is an age-old technique, and one we know well in our family. In fact, it’s become a rite of passage, for when a famiy member turns five years old. They must catch seven flies in their chopsticks, one for each of the heaven gates, and if they cannot then there is …
‘What famous piece of literature could be improved with modern technology?’ Interesting. When I signed up for this literature course I just thought we’d be analysing the central themes of Wondering Heights, or something. It counts towards my overall credit, even though it doesn’t have much to do with my major. I just like books, …
Most kids, I think, at some point, wanted to be superheroes. Nothing wrong with that. I’m pretty sure I was the only one who fought evil with flowers, though. Not plants, mind you…that’s been done. Not flower power in the hippie sense either, because I was born way too late for all of that. No, …
I don’t think people understand car ownership, sometimes. In fact, in my friend group, it’s become that thing that irks me: something that people are PROUD of not knowing. You know, that despicable internet trend where people are proud of not knowing about current events, or mathematics. I was talking to Millie the other day …
So my grandma used to tell me that if I didn’t wash out my ears, a spider would make a nest in there and lots of little spider babies would live there forever. Now that I’m older, I have to confess that I don’t really know WHY they’d want to live in there. I mean, …
At last, my dream boat is complete. And yes, I recognize the pun…it really is a dream boat. I intended that pun, because puns should be intended. Intend your puns or get out; none of this wishy-washy ‘no pun intended’ nonsense. Good grief, own your own words, my fellow. So this is definitely the latest …
The way I see it, the Olympics have to come to Melbourne at some point. We’re the world’s second-most livable city, we have lovely architecture, the coffee is the best in the whole world and we have trams. Everyone loves trams! They’re the number one way to get around, in my humble opinion! Plus, Melburnians …