Pure Oscar Bait

Great – it’s Oscars season and Yaival DuMesque is knocking it out of the park… again. The guy paints himself as some sort of arthouse director, but he still makes about six movies a year (or so it seems) and they’re all piggybacking off the success of ordinary people. And everyone keeps falling for it! …

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Timber is Everywhere

Huh, I got a B+. Considering how weird that essay topic was, I think that’s a pretty good result. Well, you know what they say about getting a degree…all you need is a P. Bad attitude to have, but whatever. I was totally stuck for what to do when I was asked to take a …

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Time to enjoy

My mother gave me one piece of advice before she ran away to Paris with the gardener: “Sarah, if you’re going to invest in one thing, make it a decent handbag. You’ll actually end up paying way less in the long run. Maybe a nice small soft leather shoulder bag, unless you’re going to carrying …

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Cooling, Very Important

Alright, this essay is going to be a cinch, and it’s all down to my genius. I have to make a case for how lacking a modern innovation caused a great civilisation to collapse, and what could be more appropriate than the Macedonian Empire being torn apart by a lack of significant cooling methods? Some …

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Simpler Cooking

Today I was stopped in the street by someone who asked if I wanted to talk about kitchen renovations. And naturally, I said yes. I said that I’d been calling the council for weeks now about all these things in my kitchen that don’t seem to do anything, and it was about time someone got …

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Making Changes

Next time someone tells me that sci-fi stories don’t need to be consistent because ‘it’s all made-up!’, I’m going to hit them with a shoe. And believe it or not, that’s my measured response after weeks of intense therapy. I know I always have a problem with people criticising things that I like, and I …

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Yay Wallpaper

Alright, perhaps I am not acting as much as the human as I thought. I even got a human job, where I do the human things like entering the data and interacting online. Around the time I realised that I was just doing the same thing that a computer does and had thus not transitioned …

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My Crackling Follicles

I’m starting to think that maybe I’m overdoing it on the essential oils. And I know, like…whoa. Me, saying anything that would suggest that I’m using any less essential oils. But it’s costing me a lot, and I guess you could say that the hour-and-a-half that I spent bathing my follicles in a mixture of …

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Breathless Love Songs

So I was listening to a song today and I was like 90% sure that the lyrics were “I can’t hear the music when I chew.” For the whole time I was at the gym I was just thinking ‘how loud does this girl chew?’ Now that I’m home, I’m thinking that she might have …

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Window Wish

I’m playing Lizard Orb X right now. It’s all about finding magic orbs that summon a lizard who grants wishes, and I can’t help but notice that no one ever wishes for anything normal. You know – normal stuff, like lots of money or a pair of shoes that are super comfortable and never, ever …

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